i wanted to write this as soon as i got a chance while its still fresh in my head. (i hope to forget a lot of it so i dont remember when we decide to have another baby :) ) **this might be tmi to some people. 

also im am a horrible writer and this might be all over the place. sorry. 

back story:

on dec 9th i went to my dr. appt. and i was 3cm dilated and 70% effaced.  i was 4 weeks away from my due date.  at that point we thought for sure we were going to have this baby early so my mom decided to come out that friday that way if i did go into labor early she wouldn't miss it (sorry mom) .  

on dec 16th, at my dr. appointment i hadn't progressed 

on dec 23rd i still hadn't progressed so my dr stripped my membranes again. i thought that would get something going. ummm no.   nothing.

we made it past christmas which was bittersweet b/c as much as i wanted him out. im so glad he wasnt a christmas baby. i feel bad for kids that have to share their birthday with christmas.

on dec 30th at my next apt. i was still 3 cm dilated but was now 80% effaced. my dr. stripped my membranes again. by this time i was going to the gym and walking for daaayyysss, eating everything spicy, eating pineapple, pretty much anything we could think of to get him out. 

on jan 6th, my due date,  i went into my apt and i was still only 3cm dilated and 80% effaced. my dr. stripped my membranes for the 3rd time. i was so bummed he still wasn't here. 

i wanted so badly to go into labor on my own and not have to be induced. but i scheduled an induction date for january 14th.  (technically i could have done it the 13th but my mom hates that number so she insisted it being on the 14th haha. ohhh my mother.) 

birth story:  (i dont hold back how i felt)

on saturday january 10th jordan got a call from my cousin holden asking if he could stop by and that he had donuts. duhhh who would turn down donuts. little did we know my aunt had come up from az to help holden move into his new place. so she surprised us (especially my mom) when she walked in. 

holden needed a mattress and some stuff for his apartment so my mom and i went with them while jordan stayed and went to the gym. 

at 1:30 we got to target and as i was walking into the store i felt my pants get really wet. (during my whole pregnancy i had never peed myself, so it was really weird) i started laughing, walking with my legs together all awkwardly and told my mom that we needed to go straight too the bathroom b/c i think my water had broke. I went to the bathroom to check if i had just peed or if it was my water. 

I couldnt quite tell so i decided if i started to feel contractions i would go to the hospital. good thing we were at target cause i had to buy new pants haha. we walked around a bit and i could feel water coming out a little at a time. 

i was texting jordan and he got so excited and wanted to go straight to the hospital (we have been waiting for the little tease to come!) 

my aunt dropped my mom and i off at our house to meet jordan. and jordan, my mom and i went to the hospital. i was very hesitant on even going because i was afraid they would send me home. 

we got to the hosptial at 5:30. as we got in the elevator i felt another gush of water come out. we got to the third floor and the nurse had me fill out some papers. as i went to fill them out i was walking awkwardly bc my pants were wet and the nurse was like i don think i will put you in triage im going to get you to a delivery room. we were so excited because we were finally going to have our baby. 

i got dressed into the lovely hospital gown. and waited patiently for the nurse to come in. she came in and checked me and i was still only 3cm and 80% effaced and my water had only ruptured and not broken all the way. 

she had my dr come in and finish breaking my water. weirdest feeling ever. i hate being dirty and so this whole labor process was hard for me bc all i wanted to do was go to the bathroom and change the sheets every 10 secs. 

my whole pregnancy i didnt have a "birth plan" but i only had two requests, not get an epidural and i didn't want pitocin.  

after my dr broke my water i started having really strong contractions that were coming 3 1/2- 4 mins apart lasting on average for 45 secs. 

i tried sooooooo hard to deal with the pain but after 6 hours of contractions i couldn't do it anymore and i asked for an epidural.

for everyone that told me that the epidural wasnt painful, you lied. haha it was ridiculously painful and uncomfortable, not to mention the weird cold sensation that goes down your back. it was weird. 

right after the epidural jordan gave me a blessing.

i had been regularly progressing every hour. so by 7am on january 11th i was 9cm dilated, but my cervix had a lip in it. so over the next couple hours my nurse would come check and see if it was going down. at 10:30 it hadn't gotten smaller so we decided to start pitocin so that my contractions would get strong enough to soften the lip. 

it. would. not. go. away. the nurse kept uping the pitocin to get my contractions to the strength they needed to be at. 

all i wanted was to have him by the time the cowboys game started so he could wear his cowboys outfit. nope. he was comfy in there. and the cowboys lost :(

finally at 3:10pm it was thin enough to start pushing. i was feeling soo much pressure by then. all i wanted to do was push. i was pushing every 30 secs. 2 hours into pushing the epidural ran out and the anesthesiologist had to come in and add more. after he added more i swear it didnt work. i. felt. everything. 

jordan gave me the sweetest blessing and i continued to push for 3 more hours. every 20-30 secs. 

my dr. came in and wanted to see how he was facing but because emmitt was still so far up.  my epidural not working anymore, so when he checked me it was beyond painful. i felt like i was being tortured. at that point he was worried b/c i had been pushing for 5 hours and was afraid i was getting exhausted and i was past the 24 hr mark of my water breaking and there is a risk of the baby or i getting an infection. so he gave me two options 1. use vacuum or 2. c-section.  he left the room for us to discuss what we wanted to do. 

i started bawling. not only did i not want an epidural or pitocin but now i had the choice of using a vacuum or a c-section. 

the problem was if i decided to use the vacuum i could get really bad lacerations and/or emmitt could be too big for me and he wouldn't come out. and if he was too big and didn't come out with the vacuum i would be forced to do a c-section and we would have to push emmitt back up the birth canal to do a c-section. 

but i did not want a c-section. so i chose to use the vacuum. my dr. came in and with in minutes a bunch of nurses came in with tables and equipment. i was getting so nervous. 

he grabbed this plunger looking thing and told me to start pushing. i. pushed. so. hard. i didn't want to stop pushing till he was out. i was in so much pain. sooo much pain. he told me to stop pushing (i wanted to kick him for telling me to stop). he then told me to do short small pushes. (which i found out later that the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck) i did that and then i just pushed hard until emmitt came out. i was so relieved. he was out and healthy and i didn't have to have a c-section.

i am so jealous of the girls that look gorgeous while giving birth and all the cute pictures they take just minutes after having their babies. not only did i look atrocious, but after being in labor for 27 hours i was exhausted and completely forgot to take pictures while in the hospital. luckily for jordan and my mom they got some. so while they are not flattering in the slightest i will cherish them, reminding me of the day i became a mommy. 

i will never forget looking over at jordan righr after emmitt was born and the look on jordans face. it was the sweetest moment watching him see our baby. 

i had 2 degree lacerations and had stitches in 3 places.

i wasnt able to hold emmitt right away but as i was getting stitched up, the nurse handed him to me. it was bittersweet. i loved holding him and kissing him for the first time but i was being stitched up the same moment and it was so painful that i wanted them to take him from me and give him back when i wasnt in pain. so i could enjoy holding him for the first time.

it was the best feeling in the world to hold emmitt for the first time and the love i felt for him was more than i ever expected. 

we spent 2 more nights at the hospital and couldn't wait to get home. we loved all of our nurses, but there is nothing like being in your own bed in your own home.

here are some pictures that we did get: dont judge :)