Moore Momma Moments: 2015

Holiday's

I feel bad for moms that get postpartum depression. Depression runs in my family I just never thought I'd struggle with it. Although mine was minor and didn't last long, I still feel for those mom's (or people in general that do struggle with depression).

When we got home my poor baby had to do light therapy for jaundice and had to stay in a light bed for 72 hours. It was so hard for me. I sat there and cried next to his bed forever. cried. cried. cried. I felt like a horrible mom that I couldn't hold him. I didn't want to leave him.

My mom stayed with us for two months (thank you mom) so although Jordan and I had a baby we were still able to go out and do things together without Emmitt. I would just make sure I pumped enough to get him through the time we were gone. But every time we would leave I would just cry. But it wasn't just because I missed Emmitt, I missed my husband who was right next to me. I was so afraid to loose him that I wouldn't want him to leave the house because I was afraid something would happen to him. One night in particular we went out to eat just the two of us and I could not hold back tears and Jordan would ask me what was wrong and I would just say nothing with the tears filling my eyes, feeling stupid. On our way to the car I just hugged him and started bawling. I couldn't get close enough to him. It was the weirdest thing. On the way home I tried to explain what was wrong. But I didn't know how to explain it. "I was crying because I miss you" sounded so dumb and weird.

I also wanted nothing to do with social media (which isn't a bad thing ha) but I couldn't believe how selfish people were by wasting their time doing other things than being with their families safely in their homes. I would get so irritated that people would worry about anything other than their family and it would make me so sad. (obviously, I don't think people are selfish at all, I just had a different mind set at the time)

I also was so upset about the way I looked and felt. I had no desire to get ready because when I did I just looked flabby. nothing I did made me feel good.

I had so many different things that I struggled with the first month after having Emmitt. It's amazing how much your body and mind can change during and after a pregnancy and birth. I am so blessed that my body was able to carry a full term baby and go through the delivery process (not as easy as I had hoped) safely.

Bumpdates/Pregnancy

Things I hated about pregnancy/delivery

2:22 PM

This is about 10 months late but it has been in my drafts for months so I figured I would share some of the things I hates about pregnancy and delivery. I am so blessed that I was able to get pregnant and have a wonderful baby boy. However, there are a couple things that I did not enjoy about being pregnant that looking back I laugh about now. I made this list to have something to look back on to remember. So with that said this isn't meant to be a negative post.

*how I was not able to paint my own toes, or anything to do with bending over. I tried painting my toes and sent a picture to my husband and mom and they both laughed at how ridiculous it was. But it made for a good excuse to get a pedicure :)

*How I would want to be naked the whole last 10 weeks of pregnancy. Between being ridiculously hot and not wanting tight clothing on my body, I wore a lot of my husbands shirts. I hated having to go anywhere because that meant putting clothes on.

*How I would need help turning over or getting out of bed. I felt like a turtle on its back that couldn't get back over. Jordan would just laugh at me sometimes and then it would make me laugh so it would be even harder to roll over or get out of bed.

*Some people love and think their body is beautiful pregnant, I however did not. Nothing fit, I felt ginormous, my face was puffy, and I was uncomfortable. I'm one to admit that I struggle with body image, I have been very grateful to have a somewhat small frame without much work, but seeing how big I was getting (not weight wise, cause I don't care about that) just the fact that from my knees up got so much thicker and I knew I would have to work hard after having my baby to get rid of it (I still have so much more to go to get back to where I was, or want to be.)

*Recovery is nothing I was prepared for. Wearing a huge pad with ice and cold medicine pads was not what I expected. I didn't want to leave the hospital bc my butt looked 5 times the size and your legit wearing a diaper, so embarrassing. I couldn't sit right, I had to sit sideways. Going to the bathroom 4 times an hour (that's not normal but I hated being wet or dirty so I had to change the pad constantly.) I was afraid mostly, of hurting or making it worse and delaying the recovery. It honestly stinks to have your baby and getting home and trying to enjoy or baby but having to recover at the same time. I felt horrible. I just was very unprepared

*I have no ab muscles, going to the gym after you have a baby and trying to do abs. . hahahahahaha. Trying to sit up from laying on a bench and I couldn't sit up I had to have my husband help me. I was so embarrassed. My abs, they were gone.

*Constant milk leakage. Luckily mine never got everywhere when I was out in public. I. Would. Have. Died.